For this Tales From Woodcliffe Road I’m going to just talk about people that were only blips on my radar. Meaning, I don’t have long elaborate stories about them, but they still managed to have some kind of impact on me.
★The Lesbians…
On my block lived 2 women. Their names escape me right now but, for years, I’ve been simply calling them the lesbians. Now as a kid, I didn’t know what a lesbian was. And, to tell you the truth, I don’t even know if they were lesbians. I just remember my friend Drew Galloway calling them that. They were 2 women who lived with their dogs. One looked like she could be a school teacher and the other a stand in for K.D Lang. I remember as a kid always saying hi to the K.D Lang looking one and I remember her being so nice. I’d only actually talked to them twice. The first time was when their dog was on their porch tied up. I went to pet him and he bit my hand causing it to bleed. I screamed and K.D Lang came running out. She took me to my house with a bottle of peroxide and apologized 100 times to my mom but she also said I can’t go around just petting any dog. The second time was when I was at my friends Nicole Uter and Drew’s house. The lesbians were getting out of a car with a chocolate cake and asked us if we wanted a chocolate cake. I SNAPPED up to say yes but Drew shouted “No you probably put something in it!” The lesbians were VERY offended. “Well you could have just said no wise guy!” Said K.D Lang and they stormed off. They moved out sometime after that.
On my block lived 2 women. Their names escape me right now but, for years, I’ve been simply calling them the lesbians. Now as a kid, I didn’t know what a lesbian was. And, to tell you the truth, I don’t even know if they were lesbians. I just remember my friend Drew Galloway calling them that. They were 2 women who lived with their dogs. One looked like she could be a school teacher and the other a stand in for K.D Lang. I remember as a kid always saying hi to the K.D Lang looking one and I remember her being so nice. I’d only actually talked to them twice. The first time was when their dog was on their porch tied up. I went to pet him and he bit my hand causing it to bleed. I screamed and K.D Lang came running out. She took me to my house with a bottle of peroxide and apologized 100 times to my mom but she also said I can’t go around just petting any dog. The second time was when I was at my friends Nicole Uter and Drew’s house. The lesbians were getting out of a car with a chocolate cake and asked us if we wanted a chocolate cake. I SNAPPED up to say yes but Drew shouted “No you probably put something in it!” The lesbians were VERY offended. “Well you could have just said no wise guy!” Said K.D Lang and they stormed off. They moved out sometime after that.
★Colin sees black.
When I first moved to Upper Darby, one of the first kids I played with was Colin O’Neil. Colin was tall for his age, had a curly fro and wore leg braces. He was a very strange kid. I used to go in his house and play with his toys ALL the time. He was an only child like me and had all the best toys. His parents were so nice. His mom always brought us snacks. This was all so new to me. Colin had one of the BEST toys I had EVER seen. Every time I saw him I asked him if I could play with them. I of course am talking about Lincoln Logs! I don’t know why I LOVED them so much but it was always sooo cool building my own house out of these logs. I would go to Colin’s house and play with his logs (mind OUT of the gutter please) while he would just go off and do something else. I used him for his logs. Colin also had NEVER met a black person before. I was this amazing creature to him. He always asked me questions “Does it hurt your skin to be black?” “Will it come off?” “Hey wow! Even your belly button is brown!” “Is your wiener brown too?” Colin was a strange kid. He moved about a couple of years after I moved in. (side note: I went to a thrift shop a couple of years ago and they had a HUGE box of Lincoln Logs. I started to buy them but was talked out of it Courtney :( )
When I first moved to Upper Darby, one of the first kids I played with was Colin O’Neil. Colin was tall for his age, had a curly fro and wore leg braces. He was a very strange kid. I used to go in his house and play with his toys ALL the time. He was an only child like me and had all the best toys. His parents were so nice. His mom always brought us snacks. This was all so new to me. Colin had one of the BEST toys I had EVER seen. Every time I saw him I asked him if I could play with them. I of course am talking about Lincoln Logs! I don’t know why I LOVED them so much but it was always sooo cool building my own house out of these logs. I would go to Colin’s house and play with his logs (mind OUT of the gutter please) while he would just go off and do something else. I used him for his logs. Colin also had NEVER met a black person before. I was this amazing creature to him. He always asked me questions “Does it hurt your skin to be black?” “Will it come off?” “Hey wow! Even your belly button is brown!” “Is your wiener brown too?” Colin was a strange kid. He moved about a couple of years after I moved in. (side note: I went to a thrift shop a couple of years ago and they had a HUGE box of Lincoln Logs. I started to buy them but was talked out of it Courtney :( )
★I will SHOOT you!
On the corner of our street, there was a little like passageway that went to the back alley. We used to go down there and play because A)it was level and we lived on a hill and B)cars didn’t come through there that often. Well, there was a little old lady that lived there with her husband. She would always come to her back door and yell at us for playing in the alleyway. We weren’t hurting anything; she just didn’t like us near her house. She didn’t own that part of the alley. She’d just sit at the back stairs and stare at us. Occasionally she’d say “get outta here!” But then she would continue to watch us. She would constantly send her husband to the door to scream at us. We’d move but we’d go back. He started getting serious when kept threatening to shoot us with his gun. The old women would scream “My husband has guns!! He’ll shoot ya!” My friend Devon Didonato told her mom and her mom gave them an earful. The old woman got so mad one day that she threw a pop of spaghetti on Devon. Around 2003 her husband died and she lived alone. Shortly after that she died and the house was sold.
On the corner of our street, there was a little like passageway that went to the back alley. We used to go down there and play because A)it was level and we lived on a hill and B)cars didn’t come through there that often. Well, there was a little old lady that lived there with her husband. She would always come to her back door and yell at us for playing in the alleyway. We weren’t hurting anything; she just didn’t like us near her house. She didn’t own that part of the alley. She’d just sit at the back stairs and stare at us. Occasionally she’d say “get outta here!” But then she would continue to watch us. She would constantly send her husband to the door to scream at us. We’d move but we’d go back. He started getting serious when kept threatening to shoot us with his gun. The old women would scream “My husband has guns!! He’ll shoot ya!” My friend Devon Didonato told her mom and her mom gave them an earful. The old woman got so mad one day that she threw a pop of spaghetti on Devon. Around 2003 her husband died and she lived alone. Shortly after that she died and the house was sold.
★Marty
I wish I could write an entire book about Marty. I even wish I knew his last name so I could find him on Facebook and thank him for being such a kind human being. Marty lived alone at the “tree house.” It was called the tree house because Marty had a GIGANTIC tree growing in his from yard. It was the only tree on the block. We’d sit under it on hot days for shade and talk to Marty. He was such a nice guy. And he wasn’t nice in the “I got candy upstairs” kind of way. It was a genuine friendliness. He was in his 30s and lived with his cat. He’d do tricks for us and he’d tell us funny (kid appropriate) jokes. I can’t stress how awesome he was. We always wondered why he lived alone. He just seemed so lonely. I always used to think he’d make a GREAT father but, again, he was alone. One day, a moving truck appeared on the block and a woman was moving things into Marty’s house! He told us he had gotten married! We all were so happy! He later told us he was going to have a son. Again, this made us so happy for him. He was sooo happy! Marty’s son was getting older, and the neighborhood was going to hell in a hand basket and Marty moved out. Marty was such a great man.
I wish I could write an entire book about Marty. I even wish I knew his last name so I could find him on Facebook and thank him for being such a kind human being. Marty lived alone at the “tree house.” It was called the tree house because Marty had a GIGANTIC tree growing in his from yard. It was the only tree on the block. We’d sit under it on hot days for shade and talk to Marty. He was such a nice guy. And he wasn’t nice in the “I got candy upstairs” kind of way. It was a genuine friendliness. He was in his 30s and lived with his cat. He’d do tricks for us and he’d tell us funny (kid appropriate) jokes. I can’t stress how awesome he was. We always wondered why he lived alone. He just seemed so lonely. I always used to think he’d make a GREAT father but, again, he was alone. One day, a moving truck appeared on the block and a woman was moving things into Marty’s house! He told us he had gotten married! We all were so happy! He later told us he was going to have a son. Again, this made us so happy for him. He was sooo happy! Marty’s son was getting older, and the neighborhood was going to hell in a hand basket and Marty moved out. Marty was such a great man.
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